leaving instagram and the effects on friendships
Today is March 7th and marks my 66th day without Instagram.
While it may seem simple, leaving Instagram is a big thing for me. It was by far my favorite social media platform. I loved the memes and the content of the pages I had curated over 5 years of constant use. But once I understood the time it was being stolen from myself while, of course, being the target of spear-advertising trying to make me buy shit I don't need to please people I don't like - the decision seemed pretty simple: leave.
I was pretty fortunate to convince my wife to do the same. She perceived the stolen time just as much as myself. This act, though, makes us unreachable on the social media platform most used in our country.
A few days back, I had to download it and log into it to see the opening times of a bar we were going to. I was stunned to see 19+ conversations with new messages to read—something that has never occurred before. But since I was still firm on my mission, I entered the bar's page on Instagram, got the info I needed, and uninstalled it.
But those conversations still bugged me somehow.
I then remembered how, since the start of this year, some of our friends haven't texted us. We found out lately that some of them were going out together and did not invite us over to participate as well. Some others simply did not reach to say hello, while on the platform there was a constant sharing session of useless stuff and memes.
After reading Tiramisu's post, I think I have figured it out. What seems to me is that by not being present on the platform anymore, we were isolating ourselves from the rest of them, while the intention was completely the opposite: We wanted to connect more deeply with our peers and to have real moments that are away from just reels and pictures.
This brings me to the reflection on how some connections we make are fake. Instead of people reaching out to us, asking how we were and if everything was okay, some of them chose to distance themselves, which reveals something I always had on the back of my head: they simply didn't care about us like they once said they do.
My mother once told me that I was going to feel the most hurt by friends and not lovers. I can understand what she was saying now. I did everything in my power to include people in my life and to care about them, sometimes more than they cared about themselves. But it wasn't reciprocal.
As time passes, I’m starting to see who truly cares about me. My wife. My parents. My brother. Our family. Those are the people who will always have my back. Friendships can be fleeting, and sometimes, they leave you when you need them the most. But through it all, I’m at peace knowing who is worth my love, my time, and my energy.
Life has been lonely since I turned 25, and I fear it may get lonelier. But I’m grateful that, through this journey, I’ve learned to protect my energy and invest it in the people who truly matter.